Bullying in children: Tips for parents to understand and address the problem

Bullying is a challenge with which perhaps every generation has had to grapple; however, the very nature of it has changed dramatically over the last few years. What used to be at first apparently restricted to the schoolyards or neighborhoods, has now stretched into the digital world and has developed to be quite pervasive and seriously damaging.
“The World Health Organization (WHO) identified bullying as among the critical risk factors for mental health challenges for children. It affects them so much that even as they become older, there is a mindset of insufficiency. Such negative self-perceptions turn them more susceptible to a host of mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and PTSD. In line with the UNESCO report released in 2019, one-third of the world’s children have fallen prey to the bullying menace; millions of children face desolation, which adversely impacts their educational achievement, school dropouts, and social relations as well as their physical health,” says Nikhil Gupta, Conscious Parenting Coach and Founder of Nurturing Souls. (Also read: Parenting guide: 10 effective strategies for parents to foster digital literacy in adolescents )
Nikhil further shared valuable insights with HT Lifestyle on how to effectively address and understand the impact of bullying.
A crucial force set into play behind this explosion in such bullying cases was the towering rise in technology’s advent through social media. In contrast, this is against the conventional methods because this bullying in the cyber world is not something to be turned off at the end of the school day. Further, it happens along with the distant anonymity of the online world, thereby emboldening the harasser to hurt others without the attendant fear of immediate consequences. The other added pressure is exerted on having a projected image added online.
A good number of kids and teenagers feel the urge to have an impeccable projection of their lives, thus feeling the pinch of failure whenever they fall short of perfection as experienced by peers around them. This has led some children into bullying behaviour to assert authority over others or to reduce their insecurity by pulling others down.
Generally, bullying happens for the reasons around seeking attention. These children are generally those who have not been paid enough attention by their parents or who have been continuously pointed out, reprimanded, or scolded for various reasons. So it comes out of either as the feeling of being ignored or belittled. These children, if left unattended, grow into adults who continue to find ways to seek attention or find pleasure in finding problems in others.
We can see many of these adults around us in our community, family, society, or at work. These children must be dealt with at the right time so that they can grow as human beings who live a very purposeful life and not waste life looking at others’ faults and also making their own and others’ lives difficult.
Parents and educators are pivotal in preventing and addressing bullying. They should first recognise signs of bullying, such as unexplained injuries, damaged belongings, eating habit changes, social withdrawal, or signs of anxiety and depression. Open communication is vital—parents should regularly talk with their children about their day, friendships, and any problems. This relationship must be founded on trust to ensure children feel comfortable discussing their experiences without fear of judgment.
Equally important is teaching children to respond to bullies effectively. They should learn that bullies often seek reactions, and remaining calm can defuse situations. Building self-assertiveness is crucial, allowing children to address bullies and practice these skills through role-playing confidently. Then comes the most important part. Helping the impacted child understand the root causes of bullying and build empathy with the child who is bullying is essential for long-term solutions.
Generally, parents react in these situations and either ask the child to fight back or complain to the school. While both these actions may solve the problem in the short term, they do not help the impacted child understand the cause behind this entire phenomenon. His or her ability to deal with similar challenges during childhood and once grown up remains questionable. It continues to hurt him or her and get into a reactive mode.
Schools play a critical role by training staff to recognise and intervene in bullying, providing counselling, and engaging with parents to understand the behaviour’s causes, ultimately helping all involved. At times, no matter how much one tries, bullying never stops and it creates an emergency. In this regard, the school authorities may have to be drawn in or professional help sought by a counselor or therapist.
Bullying is one such problem, and the solution requires a multi-dimensional approach. We must know why this happens and how to prevent it from happening to any child. A safe, open environment at home, in collaboration with educators and with the correct tools on board, is one of the best and most effective ways one can challenge to address bullying. Together, we can build a community where mutual respect and kindness will prepare every child for lifelong success.